Tell me that I wont feel a thing
by Mo-Lou
Summary: sequel to: Everything will be alright. Two years have gone by and now Regan,Nathan and Mac are entering grade 12. The 5 kids have to work on a school project and hope that this year wont be as bad as 2 years ago but will it?
1. You okay Honey?

It was senior year Regan, Nathan and Mac were graduating this year. It had been two years since that fucked up year. It took some time but eventually Harmony forgave Jimmy. Regan, Andrew and Jimmy have been sober now for two years. Peyton's scars were getting lighter and thanks to Jimmy she talked to her parents who got her professional help. Nathan and Harmony were still dating.

"Mac, get out of the bathroom" said Harmony

"Gosh this seems familiar" said Whatsername

"Hey baby" said Jimmy who walked up to Harmony and hugged her

"Hey dad" she said

"Help" said Mac from the bathroom

"Why?" asked Harmony worried. Just then the door opened and Mac ran out

"Spider" he said

"A spider, really" said Johnny who walked in

"It was huge"

"Maybe it will bight you and you'll get magical powers" said Harmony who walked into the bathroom and closed the door

At the Clarke house Christina was making breakfast. Andrew had been living with them now since he showed up at the house. He and Regan were dating but since he was twenty-six and she was now seventeen he was waiting for her eighteenth birthday to do it with her.

"Did anyone get the mail?" asked Regan

"It hasn't come yet" said Andrew

"I mean yesterday"

"I think so why what are you expecting?" asked Tunny

"Just a letter" she said

At the Esper house things were going smoother then two years ago

"Hey baby" said Will to Heather

"Hey can you go see if Julia's up?" she asked

"Sure can" and he went into the baby's room. She was waking up and smiled at Will

"Hey baby girl" Will picked her up and brought her to the closet "What do you want to wear today huh? This pretty dress?" Julia giggled "Yeah you like that? Okay, let's get you dressed"

"Mom, were is my dress?" asked Peyton

"In the laundry basket" said Heather

"I graduate this year" said Nathan who ran in smiling "Oh glorious day" he hugged Peyton and his mother. Just then Will came out with Julia and Nathan kissed her "Hello baby sister"

The kids all walked to school

"Our first day of grade 12" said Mac

"Are you guys ready? This year is going to go by so fast" said Regan

"Ha, unless it's two years ago" Peyton said

"Oh please, don't even go there" said Harmony Nathan held her hand

That day Regan came home and got the mail. She was looking for a letter when she came across a letter from the military. She walked in the house and was greeted by a kiss from Andrew

"Hi" he said

"Hey you" she said

"Why so jumpy? Regan, you're not using again are you?"

"What? no, there's a letter from the military"

"I'm not fallowing" he said she opened the letter and read it. Then she stormed into her room with the letter

"Uh huh" Andrew said confused

Will sat on the couch with Julia, and he played peek-a-boo. When he removed his hands from his face he screamed and so did Peyton who was now holding Julia

"Jesus, Peyton you scared me" he said

"You? What about me?" she said

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting you. How was school today?"

"It was alright. Grade 11 looks like it's going to be hard"

"Yeah" said Julia and Peyton laughed

"See, even this one knows" she said

"I'm sure by the middle of the year things will calm down"

"You really were bad at school weren't you?" Peyton asked her father

"Yes, I was" he said taking Julia from her

Harmony sat in her room, reading her diary she found from when she was little. She laughed at parts when she said she had a crush on Nathan. Then out fell a picture and she picked it up. it was of her, Mac and Dean. She smiled at the picture, it was of the summer before all hell broke lose. Just then Mac walked in

"Hey what have you got there?" he asked

"Just this photo of us" she showed him and he smiled

"That was a great summer. Minus that little accident"

"Little? Mac I fell off the monkey bars and nearly cracked my head open"

"Almost but Dean caught you and all you got was a mild concussion"

"He was great for that stuff" she said

"I was the brains, he was the muscle" Mac said

"I miss him so much" Mac grew quite

"Mac, What happened that night?"

"I'm not to sure. It's all kind of rusty" Harmony put her arm around him

Tunny came home and found Andrew about to leave for work

"I have to ask, isn't it hard for you to work at a bar after everything that's happened?" Tunny asked

"Sort of, but I also get to hear peoples stories and help sometimes so it's worth it in the end" Andrew answered

"Sounds good" Tunny knocked on Regan's door. "Regan?" She opened the door with tears in her eyes "baby what is it?" she handed him the letter. "why would you open something that wasn't yours?"

"Are you going to go back?" she asked

"I-I uh don't know" he said "I have to think about this"

"Would you consider it? Dad, you know how I feel about war"

"I know you hate it, but they want me back"

"But, I need you here"

"I'm going to talk it over with your mom"

The next day all the kids sat at lunch talking

"Well, is your dad going to do it?" asked Nathan

"I hope not" said Regan

"So what are we going to do with this school project?" asked Mac

"Well, they said split up in groups of 5 or 6" said Harmony

"The story of our life?" question Peyton

"At least they didn't ask us two years ago" said Mac

"Well, it will be us 5 and our sad, sad lives" said Nathan

"Hey, some parts aren't all that sad" said Harmony

"Uh, okay" Regan said

"Hey, I'm sure your dad wont do it" reassured Peyton

"Also, who we are. This is a get in touch with your soul project" said Mac

"We might as well get naked in front of the school" said Regan


	2. One song glory

Tunny and Christina talked, yelled, cried, yelled some more then the room went quiet. Andrew walked into Regan's room

"This is getting ruff" he said

"How could he even think about going?" she said

"Well this is what he loves to do"

"What? get randomly shot at and randomly shoot people?"

"Okay, Reg when you put it like that" Andrew sat on the bed and pulled her close

"This is what got me in my mess in the first place. Well that and you and Theo" she said

"I know, but we're two years sober"

"Yeah, you at 26 and me at the ripe old age of 17"

"I'm sure your dad will do what he thinks is best"

* * *

><p>Harmony and Peyton were thinking about what to do for the video. They brought Mac and Whatsername in for help.<p>

"What are we supposed to do?' Mac asked looking at the video camera

"Oh, we'll you see honey, you turn it on and then when you hit that button and it will record things" Whatsername said with a laugh and everyone stated laughing

"Thanks mom, I got that far"

"Well, we should do a video about what we've over come" said Harmony

"You really want to do that? Regan's right we might as well just stand in front of the school naked" said Peyton

"Now, now you're not doing Hair" said Whatsername

"Oh, what if we did it like the season one opener for Blossom" suggested Harmony

"Season one of what?" asked Mac

"Never mind honey" said Whatseranme

* * *

><p>Jimmy, Johnny and will sat at the bar talking about what Tunny might do.<p>

"I'm not sure, what to think" said Will

"Well, what about his family?" asked Jimmy

"Regan might take it really hard, we all know how she feels about the army"

"I don't know guys, I think we should talk him out of this" said Johnny

"Now, now guys he didn't say he was going yet" said Jimmy

"And what about Christina?"Will asked

"What about us?" asked Johnny just then Tunny walked and sat down

"So, Tun what did you decided?" asked Johnny

"I'm going" he said

"WHAT!" all three said

"Tunny, how could you do that to you family?"asked Jimmy

"I-I don't know" he said

"Have you told your family?" asked Will

"Well, after a long fight with Christina I'm guessing she got the message. Regan on the other hand, I'm scared to tell her"

"You have to be really careful when you tell her, we all know how bad news can cause relapses" said Jimmy

"I know I know. This is awful" Tunny said downing Will's beer

"Then don't go" said Johnny

"It's not that simple. They asked for me back"

"Tell them to suck it" said Will

"I'm not sure you're aloud to say that to the military"

* * *

><p>Nathan came over and Regan joined the other three. They wrote down ideas and where to start. They wrote down where shoot the movie and how to piece it together.<p>

"Do we get the camera to ourselves?" asked Mac

"Signs" Peyton randomly said

"Excuse me crazy sister?" asked Nathan

"We could make signs sort of introducing our selves" she explained

"I like it" said Mac

"I like this idea" said Harmony everyone looked at Regan who was just sitting there

"Regan, Reg?" asked Nathan

"What huh?" she asked snapping out of her zone

"Regan, hey I'm sure your dad isn't going" reassured Harmony

"Can I have the camera first?" she asked

"Yeah, go ahead" said Peyton

"I really like your Sign idea" Regan said

"Thanks"

* * *

><p>Tunny got so drunk Johnny and Jimmy helped him home. He walked into the house and saw Christina on the couch sleeping.<p>

"This was the best night ever" Tunny said really loudly

"Tun, your wife is sleeping. Do you want us to take you to your bed?" Johnny asked

"How do I tell Regan I'm going to war? I don't want her to end up a mess again"

"Okay, Tunny lets get you too bed."

"And what out my wife?" he asked and he knocked over a plant causing Christina to wake up

"What is going on?" she asked

"We're just bringing Tunny home" said Jimmy

"Oh, I can take care of that" she said and she put her arm around Tunny

"You're pretty" he said to her

"Alright sorry, boys thanks for taking care of him" she said

The next morning Tunny went into Regan's room and sat on her bed and looked at his little girl. She turned over and woke up

"Dad, what is it?" she asked

"Regan, sweetie, babe" Regan got out of bed

"Don't say it. Dad don't say you're going back"

"I'm sorry Regan"

"I hate you" she said and she ran out of the house

"Regan" Andrew said and chased after her

* * *

><p>Peyton woke up and went into Julia's room. She looked at her baby sister, and smiled.<p>

"Hey Julia, it's Peyton your big sister. I'm whispering because I don't want you to wake up. I love you very much I hope you know that, you are so special to all of us. Look, I did some things a few years ago that I regret. Don't worry though, 'cause scars heal. Listen I'll explain when your older, but Julia if there's any feeling you have about yourself, like you hate yourself, and you want to cut yourself you can talk to me. If you want to kill yourself, you can talk to Nathan. Come to think of it, we're not very happy children. But that's not mom and dads fault, well not partly."

* * *

><p>"When do you leave?" asked Christina<p>

"Next week" Tunny said

"Tunny how could you?"

"I don't know, Christina, I don't know what to do?"

* * *

><p>Jimmy knocked on Harmony's door. He walked in and found her writing something down.<p>

"Watcha writing babe?" he asked

"What I'm going to say on the tape"

"What are you going to talk about?"

"We all agreed we'd write about two years ago and how when pushed down no matter what we got back up"

"What is this for again?

"Some school project. Life lesson or something"

"So your lesson is stand back up?" he asked

"Yeah dad"

"I love you" he went and hugged her

* * *

><p>"Hey Regan, wait up" Andrew said grabbing her arm<p>

"Why? So you can talk to me about how I should listen to my dad? Andrew he's going to be shipped off for god knows how long. what if he doesn't come home Andrew, what if he doesn't come home and I relapse?"

"You wont relapse because I will be with you every step of the way, same with your Uncle Jimmy." Andrew wiped a tear from her cheek "Baby, this is going to be hard, but you should talk to him"

* * *

><p>Nathan and Mac went to grab a burger. Then they went and sat at Dean's grave. They talked about the school project and how they were going to put Dean in. They walked back home and found Peyton and Harmony sitting on the GallagherVincent house.

"Hey girls" Nathan said

"Hello boys! How was your night?" asked Harmony

"Good, we went to visit Dean" Mac said

"Cool" said Peyton

"We're going to put him in the video"

"Um…wont that be a little creepy?" Harmony joked with a laugh

"Ha-ha, what I meant was a like a photo section" Mac explained

"Why don't we dedicate it to him?" suggested Peyton

"Yeah!" agreed Harmony

"Would that be alright?" asked Mac

"Mac, you don't have to ask" said Nathan

"Thanks that means a lot to me" he said

"Anything for you" said Harmony


	3. You'll see

Regan sat in her with the camera. She made a sign that said "Scared" and she turned on the camera and held up the sign.

"Who am I? I'm scared. Two years ago it's no secret I was a drug addict. My dad got a letter asking him to go back to the military. He told me that he's going to go. What if he doesn't come home? What I relapse? Dad I don't want you to go" she started tearing up "but please come home safe, I hate you for going but that wont last forever"

* * *

><p>The adults all went out for Tunny's last night. They sat there in quite until Christina got up in tears and headed to the bathroom. Whatsername and Heather fallowed her. The boys all looked up and then at Tunny.<p>

"She is never going to forgive me" said Tunny

"And how's Regan taking it?" asked Will

"S-she hate's me. She said so herself"

"I'm sure she'll be fine" said Johnny

* * *

><p>In the bathroom the girls were trying to calm down Christina. The three girls all sat in the stall.<p>

"Christina, sweetie calm down" Whatsername said holding her close

"I t-think I-I-I'm going to puke" Christina stuttered

"Honey, breathe" Heather said rubbing her back

"We're going to be with you every step of the way" whatsername reassured

"Yeah, and you can call the boys if you need a man in the house" said Heather

"I d-don't want h-h-him to go" she sobbed

* * *

><p>Regan walked out into the living room and found Andrew sitting there. She walked over and sat beside him.<p>

"Baby, what's up?" he asked

"I did part of my video. Andrew my dad's leaving and I don't know what to do. No I know what I want to do" she looked down at her arm

"You don't need that" Andrew said pulling her close. She looked up and kissed him

"Why are you so sweet?" she asked

"I wasn't always like remember?"

* * *

><p>Nathan and Harmony watched over Julia.<p>

"She's so cute" Harmony said

"Yeah, I kind of like her" Nathan said kissing Harmony

"This, this could have been us Nate"

"I know. Do you think we would have been okay?" he asked

"I don't know. Where's Peyton?"

"In her room" he said

"How is she?" Nathan looked down at Julia

"I remember when she was that little girl running around in her dress. Next thing I know she's got scars down her arm"

* * *

><p>The girls brought Christina out of the bathroom an around her trying to support her. They brought her to the bar. She did 5 shots of vodka and downed a beer. The boys went over to the bar.<p>

"Christina take it easy" said Tunny

"Me take it easy? ME,SHOULD TAKE IT EASY" she said

"So an angry drunk" Jimmy said to the others. She took another shot

"HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME TO GO TO THE WAR" she yelled the whole bar turned and looked at them

"Christina, baby can we take this out side?" Tunny asked trying to pull her up from the bar

"No" she said taking 3 more shots

"Christina come on" said Heather trying to get her up with Tunny

"I will not come. I will spend my night here"

"Is this really how you want to spend your last night with Tunny?" asked Will

"Oh god. You're, you're leaving tomorrow. Tunny, you're going away" she started crying

"And now she's an emotional drunk" said Johnny

"Look, maybe we should go" said Jimmy

"Yeah, I need to get back to Julia" Heather

"You guys go" said Tunny Heather hugged Christina and Tunny. Will hugged Tunny for a long time

"I'm going to miss you buddy" Will said

"I'm going to miss you too" The two left. Whatsername was holding Christina

"You're leaving to-to-tomorrow. Tunny I don't want you to go" Christina sobbed

"Guess it's to late to back out" said Tunny he went and took over from Whatsername

* * *

><p>Finally it was time for him to leave. Everyone gathered at the Clarke house. Tunny started with the GallagherVincent

"Jimmy, take care of yourself okay?" Tunny said hugging him

"Funny, that was mine line. Tunny be careful and come home" Jimmy said

"I will"

"Uncle Tunny, watch after yourself" Harmony said

"I will" he hugged and kissed her

"Tunny, come home again please" Johnny said holding Tunny tightly

"I will, goodbye Johnny" Whatsername burst into tears and leapt at Tunny

"I love you Rebecca" he said kissing her on the cheek

"I love you Uncle Tun" said Mac

"I love you too bud"

Then the Espers. Will practically threw himself at Tunny.

"I love you man" said Will

"I love you too"

"Heather, watch after him" said Tunny

"Watch after yourself and come home" she said Nathan hugged him

"Please be safe" he said

"I will Nate" she said Tunny turned to Peyton. He walked up to her and placed a hand on her cheek

"Peyton, I want you to take care of yourself"

"I love you Uncle Tunny" He wiped a tear from her cheek and held her close

"I love you too" Tunny started tearing up a bit. He looked her in the eyes and kissed her forehead. Then he went to Julia and took her from Heather

"I'll see you when you're a little older. Take care of your family and the others alright" he kissed her on the cheek and handed her back. Then he got to his own family. He held Christina's hand and wiped the tears from her cheek. She reached up and wiped one from his.

"I'm going to miss you baby" he said and he pulled her close to him and held her like he did with Peyton. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry I decided I'm going back. But I promise I'll come home safely"

"You better" she sobbed hugging him tighter. "If you don't"

"I will, baby I will"

"I'm sorry, about last night" she said

"It's okay, I understand this isn't easy for you" he kissed her and turned to Regan

"Baby" he said and she started to walk away but Tunny grabbed her "Please, don't. Listen, Regan I know this goes against what you believe but this is what I have to do" he held her tightly from behind "I love you very much, I want you to know that"

"Dad, I don't want you to go" she said and she grabbed onto his arms he kissed her on the cheek

"Baby, I'm going to come home trust me" she turned around and hugged him. When he as done he grabbed Johnny and Will and the three boys hugged for a good sold two minutes.

"I love you boys so much" said Johnny

"I love you too" said Will

"I love you guys so much" said Tunny and off he went


	4. Life support

A month had gone by without Tunny. Regan and Andrew were helping around the house. While Christina took up extra work at the hospital. Andrew was working double at the bar every other night. Regan was working at her grades and Christina said that was enough. Tunny wrote his family almost everyday and Regan wrote him back. Meanwhile it was Peyton's turn with the camera. She wrote on her sign ashamed and held it up to the camera.

"My sign is ashamed. Look" she showed her arms "I used to cut myself two years ago. It was the stress of being a year younger and starting high school. Also I used to get pushed around literally by kids in the school. I felt so alone, that maybe if I wasn't there no one would notice. I showed my Uncle Jimmy and he freaked out. It came to a point where if I cut to close to the main artery or whatever I wouldn't care. This is no way to live your life. I wish I could take this back, but I can't and now I live with these scars"

* * *

><p>The boys sat at the bar. They missed Tunny, they ordered a round just for him.<p>

"I miss him" said Will

"I miss him too" said Johnny

"Regan, she seems to be taking it well" said Will

"She talked to me last week. She's actually going through a tough time" said Jimmy

"She's not thinking about…"said Johnny

"She was. But I talked her out of it, so did Andrew"

"He's been really great for her" said Will

"Ha, you should have seen him back when he was, when we were" started Jimmy

"I'm glad you bounced back buddy" said Johnny

* * *

><p>Harmony sat on her bed reading her book when Whatsername walked in. she sat on the bed with her<p>

"Yes…?" asked Harmony

"I'm feeling wild" said Whatsername

"I'm sorry, perhaps you should talk to Uncle Johnny about that"

"No, Harm what I mean is you see that I have tattoo's. You have a few piercing and I have a few"

"Uh huh" said Harmony trying to figure out what was going on in her mind

"I want more, come with me. Maybe you should get another one" she suggested

"And what will my dad say?" asked Harmony loving this idea

"Who cares he's not here. You wanna come with me?" Whatsername asked

"Sold!" and the two girls left

* * *

><p>"Andrew? Andrew I need help with math. Mom?" Regan walked into her house and realized no one was home. She was getting worried she hadn't heard from her dad in a while. "Hello?" she called Harmony but no one was home. Peyton and Nathan were working on the video. She was feeling down. He knew the older boys were out and Mac was busy. Her mom was at work and she was alone, and scared.<p>

* * *

><p>Nathan took the video camera and wrote suicidal on his sign.<p>

"So I chose suicidal. Not many people know that I was suicidal a few years ago. I suddenly fell into a state of depression. The only people that knew about this is, Mac and Dean may he rest in peace, and my sister Peyton. I wanted to do it but I didn't know how. Then I thought about my sister and my family. It wasn't worth it, I loved my family and my sister. I felt like Mac and Dean were the only people I could talk to. I should have gone to an adult. Look if there is anyone out there who felt this way. Please talk to me"

* * *

><p>The boys walked to the cemetery and went to Dean's grave. The boys talked to him and then they walked a little bit more and stopped at Marni's<p>

"Hey Marni, it's Johnny, Will and Jimmy. You wouldn't believe your older brother. He went back to fight. Man, Marn you would be so proud of him, he's got a wife as you know and a beautiful daughter that I'm sure Tunny told you what happened two years ago." Johnny said

"We really want you to look out for him, this time. His Regan is really against war, so if Tunny doesn't, doesn't it make it then that's on you" said Will

"No pressure" added Jimmy

"So, please make sure he's safe and comes home safe. Also could you look out for the rest of his family." Finished Will

"We really miss you Marni. We're sorry you were taken too early, you were really special and meant the world to Tunny. He misses you like crazy" said Johnny

* * *

><p>Regan looked down at the gin bottle in her hand. Then she opened it and took a sip, which turned into a few more. Next thing she knew she was opening the vodka bottle and she took a sip. She put the bottle down and threw up there in the living room.<p>

* * *

><p>"Aunt Rebecca what should I get?" asked Harmony<p>

"I don't know you already have your tragus. Oh your nose!" she suggested

"Um…I've got these glasses remember they're kind of big so it would hit my nose"

"Right…um….cartilage"

"Alright"

"I'll even pay!" Whatsername said

"You're a tad excited" Harmony said

"I'm sorry, but I had boys okay, I never had a girl. So when Johnny asked if you and your dad could move in of course I said yes" she hugged Harmony

"I love you Aunt Rebecca

"I love you too!"

* * *

><p>"Hey Nate did you finish your video?" asked Peyton<p>

"Yeah, the only people who need to do the intro and stuff is Harm and Mac but we've filmed for a month and we got good stuff"

"What about music? Music makes the video"

"I know, we're going to have a group meeting tomorrow"

"This is a really great idea for a school project" she said

"It is"

"It's like therapy"

"In a way yeah I guess" he said and the Heather walked in

"Hey kids" she said

"Hey mom" said Nathan

"I was thinking of renting a movie anything you kids want to see or can I get a good old fashioned one?" Heather aksed

"Nah, we're good" said Nathan

"Alright, I'll ask Julia then" and she left

* * *

><p>Andrew came home from work and heard someone throwing up from the bathroom<p>

"Regan?" he asked

"I'm in the bathroom" she said through sobs and Andrew walked in further and saw the puke on the floor and the Vodka bottle on the counter and the empty gin bottle and he rushed into the bathroom

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? REGAN PLEASE TELL ME I DID NOT SEE WHAT I THINK I SAW IN THE LIVINGROOM" Andrew screamed

"I-I-I'm sorry" she said

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU"RE IN" Regan looked at him and then threw up again just then the door closed

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?" yelled Christina she walked into the bathroom

"I found her like this I swear" said Andrew

"Regan Elizabeth Clarke you better have a fucking good explanation for this!"

"No one was home" she said

"You've been home alone before. Oh this is because your father left isn't it? Well I am calling Jimmy and he is going to deal with you because I am a little pissed off right now"

"Regan, you could have called me at work. Anything but this" said Andrew

"I am so disappointed in you. It is just as hard for you not having your father around as it is for me. Oh and when he hears about this…. Regan Elizabeth, you are not to be alone in this house. I would have never thought that my 17 year old daughter was going to need a baby sitter, but if that's what it will take then I am putting Jimmy on Regan duty" and she stormed out of the room

"Andrew…"Regan started

"Forget it Regan. I don't know what to think anymore" and he left too


	5. Will I?

It was Mac's turn to record. He made his sign and held it to the Camera.

"I chose blame because that is how I feel. Ever since my brother passed away I've felt like some things missing. Of course I'm angry, he was my twin. Look we did something stupid Dean and I and that's when the accident happened. I've blamed myself for his death. I've blamed myself for everything that happened two years ago. Of course I should blame myself. I was the one that got Regan hooked on drugs. How could I be so stupid, if I was paying attention to Regan she wouldn't have passed out. If I was watching after Dean my twin brother…brother would be right by my side making this video with me but instead you'll get a lovely view of his tomb. Why? Because it was my fault. I'm to blame"

* * *

><p>"Regan how could you? Are you kidding me?" Jimmy asked<p>

"I was alone Uncle Jimmy. My dads fighting he's been gone for a month" she said

"Well, now I'm stuck baby sitting you. How could you be so stupid?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry okay I'm sorry I fucked up. I'm sorry that after two years sober I fell off the wagon. I'm sorry, I-I-I'm scared" she broke down crying

"Regan, stop crying. I'm not giving you any sympathy. I know what it's like to get off track. And Andrew I've never seen him so upset. You fucked this one up babe. Look are you hungry?"

"No, I've had this pain in my stomach for over and hour" she went to lay down on the couch

* * *

><p>Johnny and Will gathered around Will's computer. They were waiting for Tunny to come on. They sat down with their beers and Tunny called in.<p>

"Hello" Tunny said

"TUNNY!" both boys said with excitement

"I miss you two" he said

"We miss you too" said Johnny

"How is it buddy?" asked Will

"Terrible and good all at the same time. How are my girls?" both boys looked at each other

"Look, Tunny I think you should talk to Christina about that" Will said

"What? What happened, tell me what happened?" Tunny said

"Regan, drank last week" Will said

"She what?" Tunny asked suddenly getting pale

"Look, she was alone and no one was home. She really misses you" said Johnny

"I shouldn't have gone"

"Only five more months" said Will

"No, I need to come home now"

"Tunny, you can't do that. As much as we would be happy you can't do that" Johnny said

* * *

><p>Whatsername and Harmony sat there with Peyton finding pictures of Dean to use<p>

"I like this one" said Whatersname she held up a photo of Mac and Dean wrestling

"Or this one" Peyton held up a photo of Dean sitting on Harmony

"Yeah, not the greatest memory" Harmony said

"Why?" Peyton asked

"He farted on her and then sat there till the smell went away" replied Whatsername

"Aunt Rebecca, does this bother you?" asked Harmony

"No honey, I think this is easier for me then Mac"

"Yeah, we filmed at the cemetery two weeks ago" said Peyton

"I still have to do my intro sign thing" said Harmony

* * *

><p>Mac sat there watching old family videos in his room. He was laughing and crying remembering all the things he and Dean used to do to Harmony. He went to a shoe box he had under his bed and counted the money he had been saving. He was going to put the videos of the six of the kids on DVD. He wanted to do something to the video. He thought it over, sort of like a before two years ago then when two years ago happened and after. How things changed but no matter what happened they still remained friends. Just then the girls walked in.<p>

"Hey Mac, we got the pictures" said Harmony

"Thanks. Man it sucks Nate had to work"

"I know, but he and I are going to hang out tonight so I'll catch him up" said Harmony

* * *

><p>Regan was still on the couch the pain got worse and sharp. She yelled for Jimmy and he came.<p>

"How long has this been going on?" he asked

"Well last night but the pain got worse" she said. He saw she was sweating and he put his hand on her forehead she felt warm. Then he pressed a little on her right side and she grabbed his arm

"I think you might have appendicitis. We should get you to the hospital" and he helped her off the couch.

* * *

><p>After the talk with the Tunny the boys called Christina and told her what they had told him. She wasn't upset at them, she was actually relieved that she didn't have to tell him. Andrew was at work he went up to the guy who sat at the bar<p>

"What can I get you?" Andrew asked

"What can I get you?" asked the guy

"Theo?" Andrew asked

"Hey man" Theo said

"Get out. Theo I've been clean now for two years"

"Really? You've never felt tempted to go back?" Theo asked

"No, now please get out"

"What has gotten into you?"

"Regan. I've been living with her and her family. Theo I want you to leave okay. Jimmy doesn't need to know you're here and neither does Regan. She already fell off last week. Now get out before I throw you out"

"Alright. But you know where to find me

* * *

><p>Finally it was Harmony's turn with the camera. She wrote her sign and held it up<p>

"Depressed. I don't show it to anyone because I've seen those commercials about how it hurts everyone. Well, everyone has been through enough. But ever since my little incident two years ago, I've been feeling down. I don't really want to go out, I just want to stay in my room. See, like my dad my mom was a drug addict. My dad walked in with me crying and her passed out on the floor next to a needle. She overdosed and I guess he was stuck with me. Though my Uncle Johnny said he really did want me. Then last year, my dad fell off the wagon when he found out that I was pregnant. I felt responsible for that. He-he hit me, but that wasn't his fault he was high when he did it. but he was sober for fourteen years. It's hard not growing up with a mom. I guess I have three though my Aunt Rebecca, Heather and Christina. But it's not the same, I cry myself to sleep sometimes and I guess once this video gets shown people will now know. But, it gets tiring saying 'I'm fine' and forcing a smile. But I'm not going to do anything to harm myself…I don't think"

* * *

><p>Jimmy took Regan in and she had her appendix out. Jimmy sat by her side until Christina came in.<p>

"Thanks Jimmy" she said

"No problem" he said

"Look, Jimmy I don't know what to do about her. I don't know what to do now that Tunny's gone"

"I don't know what to say"

"Yeah, could you just hug me?" she asked

"Sure, I'm good for that" he said and he hugged her

* * *

><p>Andrew walked home. He walked past the old building where he knew Theo was. He really wanted to go in, but no look what happened to Regan and Jimmy. Andrew walked past it then stopped.<p>

* * *

><p>Work for Nathan was horrible. He worked as a waiter and the people kept yelling at him. Then a group of teenagers came in drunk and he had to ask them to leave. They threw their drinks at him. On his way home the bus broke down twice. He gave up and called his mom. She was busy taking care of Julia who was coming down with a cold. So Nathan called Jimmy who came to get him. While waiting for Jimmy it started raining. Nathan stood there wondering what was the point anymore.<p> 


	6. We're okay

Mac was piecing together the intro for their video. When it was time to put up Harmony's clip he decided to watch it. He sat there in shock he had no idea that she felt this way. Just then Harmony walked in.

"What are you doing?" she asked angry

"I-I'm sorry, Harm I didn't mean to" he said

"Didn't mean to watch my clip?"

"Well, it's not like it was supposed to be a secret. I'm sorry"

"Me too, sorry I got a little angry"

"Is that time of the month?" Mac joked

"Shut up" she said with a laugh and chucked a pillow at him

"Hey" he said standing up and throwing her over his shoulder

"Mac!" she said laughing the three adults walked in

"What is going on?" asked Whatsername laughing

"Homework" said Harmony

"Kindly put down my daughter" said Jimmy Mac put her down.

"How's the video?" asked Johnny

"Good" said Mac

* * *

><p>Nathan sat in his room reading and Will walked<p>

"Hey Nate, you want to hang out tonight?" he asked

"Why?" asked Nathan

"Because, we never do, I was thinking guys night. You, me, Johnny, Mac and Jimmy"

"Okay" he said

"Hey, are you okay?" asked Will

"Uh huh"

"You're, you're not like your sister?" Nathan rolled up his sleeves

"I'm fine"

* * *

><p>Andrew walked in from work late again. It had been three weeks since Regan had a drink. Unfortunately Andrew went into the building and met up with Theo. He came home and Christina was waiting up.<p>

"Andrew, how dare you come home late" she said

"You're not my mom" he said

"Look at me" she said and he looked at her

"Oh my god, you're back on drugs. Show me your arm" but he hid them. Christina grabbed his arm and pushed up his sleeve "Get out"

"No, Mama Clarke I fine"

"YOU ARE NOT FINE. WE LET YOU INTO THIS HOUSE AND YOU CLEAN UP YOUR ACT. THEN REGAN FALLS OFF AND NOW YOU. I will not have that in my house" Just then Regan came out

"FINE I'M GONE" and he stormed out.

"MOM" Regan said

"Don't you dare go after him" but Regan ran out the door and after him

* * *

><p>"Hey mom" said Mac<p>

"Yeah honey" Whatsername said

"You know how Uncle Jimmy has Harmony's name tattooed on his wrist? I was wondering if I could do the same thing?"

"You want Harmony's name on your wrist?"

"No" Mac said with a laugh "Dean's" Whatsername went over and hugged her son

"Sure, baby"

"Could you come with me?" he asked

"I would be honored too baby"

* * *

><p>That night the boys went back to the place Johnny took Mac<p>

"This is the life" said Johnny

"To bad Jimmy didn't come" said Mac

"But understandable" said Nathan

"I can't believe Regan" said Will

"Hey when's Uncle Tunny coming home?" asked Mac

"December, right before Christmas" answered Johnny

"You boys must be excited" said Nathan

"Like you wouldn't believe it" said Will

* * *

><p>"ANDREW STOP" Regan shouted he stopped in his tracks<p>

"Get away Regan. I'm back on drugs and I need my fix"

"I've seen you like that before remember? Andrew it will be okay" she said grabbing his hand

"Stop, Regan please. I don't want to hurt you"

"You already have. Please, we can do it together...again" Andrew turned around and shoved her against the wall

"Listen to me. This is who I am. Now get out this isn't for little girls Regan" he walked away leaving Regan standing there in shock

* * *

><p>Peyton and Heather were playing with Julia.<p>

"Julia, do you want to go shopping tomorrow?" asked Heather

"Yeah" she said

"She is so cute" said Peyton

"Yeah, I love her" Heather said kissing Julia who yawned

"I think it's bed time" Peyton said "I'll put her to sleep"

"Thanks honey"

* * *

><p>Whatsername went over to sit with Christina. They talked and drank and Tunny came in on video<p>

"Uh, Tunny hey" said Whatsername

"She's drunk isn't she?" he asked

"Yeah babe sorry"

"Where is she?"

"Bathroom" she said

"Why did I go? Rebecca, why didn't you people try to stop me?"

"Tunny, sweetie have you met yourself? You are the most stubborn person I know. Convincing you is like convincing Jimmy to quit drugs seventeen years ago. It wasn't going happen"

"Is that Tunny!" Christina said coming back in

"Yeah, it's me babe" he said

"How many more months?" baby

"Two more. But listen, I only got the clear to come home for Christmas I have to go back"

"Tunny, I don't think I can do this anymore. Regan ran off after Andrew because he is back on drugs. Tunny this is really fucked up and where are you? YOU'RE OVER THERE FIGHTING SOME STUPID WAR THAT YOUR CHILD IS AGAINST" she was getting to her angry drunk

"Christina, calm down" said Whatsername

"Maybe, I should call back later" Tunny said

"That might be a good idea" said Whatsername

"I'M NOT FINISHED. WHEN YOU COME BACK EXPECT DIVORICE PAPERS" Christina yelled

"Christina, you're drunk and you're not thinking correctly" Whatsername said

"Baby you don't mean that" said Tunny

"No, no I don't I'm sorry. Baby I'm sorry please come home" said Christina

* * *

><p>The boys got home and Nathan walked into his room and closed the door. He sat on the bed and looked out the window. He walked over to his desk with a picture of him and his sisters. He loved them, and he loved his family, his 'Aunts' and 'Uncles'. His friends especially Harmony.<p>

* * *

><p>Funny thing is, Harmony was thinking the same thing. She sat there wondering what her life would have been like if she had the baby. What her life would have been like if her dad was still on drugs. Would she have been abused?<p>

* * *

><p>Regan watched as Andrew shot up. She waited till Theo left and she walked in.<p>

"Andrew. Please I want you to listen to me. You don't need this life" she said walking over t him and touching him on the shoulder

"I told you to leave me alone. This is a dangerous place"

"I know it is. But please, we had the life for two years" Andrew grabbed her and pushed her against the couch and climbed on top of her and kissed "Andrew"

"It's alright baby. I promise, everything will be fine" and started undoing her pants

"Andrew, stop"

"It's going to be fine baby girl" he said undoing his pants "Andrew will take care of everything"

"Please" she said tearing up

* * *

><p>"Dad" Harmony said walking into her fathers room<p>

"Uh huh babe" he said looking up

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"No, never mind" she said leaving. Jimmy got up off his bed and grabbed her shoulders

"What is it baby? You can talk to me"

"Maybe I should talk to Uncle Johnny first" and she left

* * *

><p>Rebecca and Mac came home from the tattoo shop.<p>

"It looks really nice" said Whatsername

"Hey, thanks mom" Mac said

"No problem"

* * *

><p>"Nate, it's dinner" said Peyton but Nathan didn't answer "Nathan, its dinner" she knocked on his door but he didn't answer "Nathan? Nathan open this door". Just then there was a tap on her shoulder she jumped and turned around<p>

"I was in the bathroom" he said

"You had me worried"

"It's okay" he said hugging her and the five Espers sat at dinner

* * *

><p>Johnny was walking home from work it was dark and he thought he heard someone crying. He stopped walking and looked around and saw Regan sitting on the curb.<p>

"Regan! What's wrong? What happened, where are your pants?" Regan sobbed as she pulled the sweatshirt lower down. Johnny sat down beside her and tried to put is arm around her

"DON'T TOUCH ME" she yelled

"It's Johnny, Regan" he said going slowly to put his arm around her "Andrew?" Johnny asked

"Uncle Johnny" she said collapsing into his arms "I a-a-asked h-h-h-him to st-stop. But h-h-he forced himself on me" Johnny took off his sweater and handed it to her. He picked her up in his arms

"I-I don't want to go h-h-home. Can I st-stay with you?" Johnny looked down at the sobbing girl in his arms. It was times like these he wished Tunny was here. He carried her to his house.

"Regan?" Jimmy asked as Johnny walked in through the back door.

"Andrew forced himself on her" Johnny explained

"I'm going to kill him" said Jimmy

"Right now, I want you to go to Christina and tell her what happened. Bring her here, I'm going to take care of her"

"No, let me do it. Oh, and my daughter wants to talk to you" he said taking Regan from Johnny "I've done this before"

"Okay" Johnny said

Jimmy laid Regan down on the bed and cleaned her up. Johnny went to Christina and explained what happened. She went with Johnny and stayed with her. The boys told the others but the agreed not to disturb the two. The Gallagher/Vincent clan ate dinner. When Regan woke up Christina was by her side.

"Mom?" she asked

"Baby, I'm am so sorry. I'm sorry, I love you. I'm glad you're okay" she said hugging her daughter

"Mom, I'm sorry. I asked him to stop"

"Sweetie, you were just trying to take care of a friend. This is not your fault"

"Then why do I feel so bad?" Regan asked and Christina held her daughter

"Baby, it's okay. We're going to be fine"


	7. Christmas bells

Two months had past. Regan had not seen or heard from Andrew since the incident. She had sort of recovered and talked to her dad over video. All was well at the Espers sort of. Nathan was still feeling down and so was Harmony. She hadn't talked to Johnny yet. Johnny was waiting for the right time to approach her.

"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny" Will said jumping up and down excitedly

"I know, I know, I know" said Johnny just as excited. The boys had gone to go get Tunny. They were so excited when Tunny came out to meet them.

"TUNNY" the boys shouted Tunny smiled when he saw his two best friends. He put his bag down and the three boys jumped at each other

"I've missed you buddy" said Will

"I've missed you too" said Tunny

"We're so glad you're home" said Johnny

"Me too" he said

"Do you have to go back?" asked Will

"Yes, I do"

"But for now he's ours. Tomorrow we are taking you out to get as drunk as you possibly can" said Johnny

* * *

><p>The boys dropped Tunny off at his house. Tunny knocked on the door and Christina opened the door and burst into tears when she saw him<p>

"Honey I'm home" Tunny said Christina laughed and jumped him at the same time

"I've missed you" she said

"I've missed you too" Tunny said holding his wife tighter they stayed like that for a minute until he put her down

"Don't let go" said Christina Tunny kissed her

"I'd like to see my daughter" he said wiping tears from her cheek

"Okay" she said and she held his hand and led him in

* * *

><p>Johnny walked into Harmony's room. She was watching TV and she looked up<p>

"Can I help you Uncle Johnny?" she asked

"Well, yeah. Your dad told me about a few months ago. Is there anything you need to talk about?"

"No" she said looking down. Johnny sat on her bed and put his arm around her

"I know you're lying Harm" he said

"I don't know how to talk about it" she said Johnny got up and closed her door. Harmony put her laptop away. Johnny sat back on the bed and she curled into him

"Come on darling what is it?" Johnny asked

"Ever since the abortion I've felt sad, depressed, like I don't know what to do. Uncle Johnny I keep thinking that this is all my fault" she said crying

"Like what's your fault?"

"My moms over dose, my dad relapsing. That was all me, I know the story I know it's not my fault about my mom. I keep thinking what's the point. If I was such a hassle then maybe I should just go away. Like if I disappeared you wouldn't care. My dad wouldn't care"

"Disappear how?" asked Johnny afraid of the answer

"Like, ending it. The funny thing is, is that I feel Nathan feels the same way. But he did nothing wrong and I did. I ruin lives. Don't say I've saved lives because that shit is stupid. I couldn't do what Peyton did, and I would never stoop to Regan's level"

"Harmony, ending it is lower then Regan's level. Babe, you think we wouldn't miss you? You'd have to be crazy to think that. I need you, everyone else needs you. Most importantly your dad needs you."

"But, I keep thinking what my life would have been like with the baby. Then I think how my dad would still be on drugs and abusive and that scares me. So I might as well end it."

"What is with all the children wanting to end it? Harmony you need to talk to your dad" Johnny said hugging her

"I feel so bad" she said Johnny just held her and let her cry

* * *

><p>"How's Uncle Tunny?" asked Peyton<p>

"He's good. We're going out tomorrow" said Will

"You are so happy your friend is home" said Heather Will just smiled

* * *

><p>Tunny knocked on Regan's bedroom door<p>

"It's open" she said Tunny opened the door

"Hey baby" he said she turned around and saw Tunny standing there. She ran across her bed and jumped on her dad wrapping her legs around his waist. Tunny wrapped his arms around his baby girl and held her close

"You're home. I've missed you so much" she sobbed

"I've missed you too baby" he said holding back tears.

* * *

><p>Nathan walked into Peyton's room he sat down on her bed and she looked at him<p>

"May I help you?" she asked

"I need to talk to you" he said

"What is it?"

"Feel bad dumping this on you, cause you're my baby sister"

"How serious is this?"

"You know, maybe I should talk to an adult about this" he said

"No, Nate, talk to me" she said

"Look, Peyt, I have these feelings lately. When I question what's the point anymore"

"You too?"

"Who else?" he asked

"I've notice Harm has been acting weird" she said

"Me too. We've barely hung out. That's partly my fault."

"Maybe you should talk to mom and dad" Peyton suggested

"Yeah" he said

"But Nathan, I don't want you to do anything stupid. At least until not until after Christmas. I mean I do want my presents"

"Alright" Nathan said with a laugh

* * *

><p>"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PLAN ANDREW SHE'S NEVER GOING TO TAKE YOU BACK" yelled Theo<p>

"I need to talk to her" Andrew said

"You raped her. Her military dad will probably shoot you. And if he doesn't Jimmy will, you remember the old Saint"

"I want to stop Theo. I did the right thing and it felt good. I felt good for once you fuck things up"

"I know I do" Theo said with a smirk

"You're a huge shit disturber. I'm going to find Regan" Andrew said shaking

"No you're not, you're going to walk out that door shaking. Then you're going to need it and come back in. once you shoot up you're going to be to high and fear you might run into the saint"

"NO YOU'RE WRONG THEO. NOW FUCK OFF" Andrew yelled and he left

* * *

><p>"Harm, Johnny said you talked to him" Jimmy said going into her room<p>

"Don't you knock?" she said

"Harmony Musetta, I want to know what's bothering you."

"Oh, you full naming me"

" What has gotten into you? You're acting like you were two years ago" he said sitting on her bed

"Would you miss me if I was gone? Do you blame me for moms death? I hate myself and blame myself for you going back on drugs. Sometimes I wish I could disappear and get away from this world. Other times I wonder what it would have been like if I kept the baby. Would you have turned abusive?"

"Hold on, WHAT?" Jimmy asked very confused

"If I killed myself would you care?" she asked quietly

"Suicide? Harmony Musetta Vincent you've thought of suicide? Has every girl now thought of killing themselves or harming themselves? You haven't done anything have you? Show me your arms" she rolled up her sleeves, her arms were clean

"Dad, I haven't done anything like that. But I've thought of ending it

* * *

><p>"You thought of ending?" Will asked Nathan<p>

"The scary thing is, is that I don't know why? What's wrong with me?" Nathan asked

"Nothing baby" Heather said

"What's wrong with us?" Will asked

"It's got nothing to do with you" reassured Peyton

* * *

><p>Tunny sat on the couch holding his two girls in his arms. He looked at them and smiled. He had never felt this happy in ages. Andrew took at step out the door, and like Theo said he went back in and shot up. Jimmy and the Espers stared at their children. Johnny and Whatsername were watching home movies with Mac.<p> 


	8. I should tell you

The kids gathered around to look at the semi finished video. When it finished they all looked at each other after everyone's little monologue. They all sat there in silence confused, and upset, angry, scared.

"Well, that was um..." Peyton started to say

"Yeah" finished Regan

"We're, uh, we're…" Mac said very stunned

"A depressing bunch?" asked Nathan

"You can say that again" added Harmony

"That certainty shows, when life stabs you the wounds heal" Mac said

"Practically screams it" said Regan the kids looked at each other once more.

"Alrighty, kid powwow, Dean's grave tonight" said Nathan

"It's cold out side" Harmony protested

"We're in desperate need" Peyton added

* * *

><p>The boys went out for their last hurrah. Tunny got really drunk and Johnny and Will got equally drunk. They wandered the street and made snowballs and had a snow ball fight. When they got home the girls were also equally as drunk.<p>

"Babe" Will said grabbing Heather and kissing her

"Oh, sexy" she said and the two moved to the couch

"Johnny!" Whatsername screamed and jumped him Christina walked up to Tunny with tears in her eyes

"I leave tomorrow" Tunny said

"I know baby" Christina said

"How about you and I go home" he said kissing her and dragging her out of the Esper's

* * *

><p>That night Christina and Tunny had an adult goodbye. Jimmy walked into Harmony's room and looked at his little girl. The next morning everyone again gathered for another emotional goodbye. Once they did, Nathan and Harmony took a walk.<p>

"I need to talk to you" Harmony said

"I need to talk to you too" Nathan said

"Look, I've been thinking about things. But just to be clear this has nothing to do with you or us. We are fine. Right?"

"Yeah, same with me, nothing to do with you or us" Nathan confirmed

"Look, Nathan, ever since two years ago" she started getting teary eyed "I'm down and depressed. Do you ever wonder what it would be like? If we had the baby, Nathan things would be so different. Well I mean duh"

"Harmony" Nathan pulled her close "I think about that everyday. I've been down, but I honestly don't know why"

"Nathan, I've talked to Uncle Johnny and my dad about this. I've, thought about ending it. I didn't want to tell you, because of Peyton. But I've wanted to end it"

"Me too. I've wanted to end it. But that thought crossed my mind at an earlier age."

"When did things get so fucked?" she asked

"I'm not sure. But Tunny's gone again and Regan really needs us right now"

* * *

><p>Regan sat on her porch. Will sat beside her and put his arm around her.<p>

"How, are you holding up?"

"Uncle Will why is this so hard?"

"You're dad leaving?"

"That, but being sober. Uncle Will when I drank a few months ago, all I thought after I took my first sip is how I let my family down. How I let my friends down, you and Heather. Uncle Johnny, Aunt Rebecca, Uncle Jimmy. But then I drank some more, and next thing I new the bottle was done. What is wrong with me?"

"Baby, nothing is wrong with you."

"How did you feel when you first saw Peyton's scars?"

"Scared. horrified. I couldn't believe my little girl had done that"

"Is that how my dad felt?"

"Yeah, well worse. Regan he found an empty vodka bottle under your bed"

"I know" she said leaning into him

"Look, you know Jimmy and I are hear for you Johnny too"

* * *

><p>Mac looked down at his tattoo. It said Dean with the year he was born and the year he passed away. Whatsername looked at him<p>

"It's really nice" she said

"I miss him mom" Mac sad tearing up

"Me too, honey everyday"

"Can we go to the cemetery tonight? You me and dad"

"Yeah, sweetie"

* * *

><p>Everyone hung out with their own family. The Gallagher's went to the cemetery and just sort of cried and talked to Dean.<p>

"I miss you buddy. I miss you so much" Johnny said

"We all do" Whatsername said

"I think of you everyday. You were my brother, my twin" Mac placed a flower down

"It's winter, we know you love winter" said Whatsername

"I love you, we all miss you. Jimmy, Harmony, the Clarke's, and Esper's" said Johnny

* * *

><p>Jimmy walked in and found Harmony looking at the bathtub. He walked in and held her hand<p>

"What's on your mind?" he asked

"Jesus" she said jumping

"No, that's Johnny."

"Dad, I'm just having a bath, well I will. I was thinking about bubbles or not"

"Well, I was going to go out walking" Jimmy said

"Go, I'll be fine"

* * *

><p>Will sat on the floor rocking Julia to sleep. He sang her <em>we know the night-the replacements<em>. He loved that little girl, he loved both his little girls and little boy. Heather sat down with him and rested her head on his shoulder. Nathan and Peyton joined them.

"I think she's almost asleep" Will said

"She's so cute" Nathan said

"How are you feeling?" asked Heather

"I'm fine." Nathan said

"And you baby girl?" Will asked

"I'm, alright" she said

* * *

><p>Regan and Christina sat at home and watched home video's. Jimmy was taking a walk when he saw Andrew<p>

"Jimmy" Andrew said

"What the fuck do you want?" Jimmy asked

"Look, Saint I need to talk to Regan"

"No, you don't"

"Yes. Please, Jimmy I want to see her, I want to get clean again"

"And Theo?" Jimmy asked

"I know"

"I want to you to stay away from Regan. You fucking raped her, do you have idea how scared she was? Johnny found her without her pants"

"I know, Saint, I'm so sorry. I want to get clean I want to get rid of Theo" without thinking Jimmy punched Andrew in the face "I deserved that"

"You lay another hand on her I swear I will kill you"

"Saint please. Listen I need to get rid of Theo"

"Then shoot him" and Jimmy left

* * *

><p>"This is really nice dad" Mac said as they stopped to get hot chocolate<p>

"Seriously though, what did happen that night?" Johnny asked

"I don't remember it was all a blur that night" Mac said

"Well, I'm sure it will come to you" Whatsername said

* * *

><p>When Jimmy got home from his walk he knocked on the bathroom door<p>

"Harm, I'm home" but there was no answer he knocked again "Harmony" he said louder. When there was no answer he opened the door and found her with her head underneath the water. "HARMONY" Jimmy pulled her out and checked to see if she was breathing. When he couldn't find a pulse he started CPR. Just then the Gallagherswalked. "Johnny help" Jimmy yelled Johnny walked in

"What happened?" Johnny asked reaching for his phone

"I found her like this. Come on baby breathe"

"What is going on?" asked Whatsername

"Come Harmony, don't do this to me. Breathe, come on" Jimmy begged just then Harmony started coughing up water. Jimmy rolled her on her side. Johnny grabbed a towel and to keep her warm. She wasn't naked completely her bra and underwear were on.

"Harmony?" asked Whatsername

* * *

><p>"Are you fucking shitting me?" asked Nathan when Will told him<p>

"Nathan, please"

"I can't believe she did that, after our talk" Will wrapped his son in a hug


	9. Without you

Christina got a call from the military. Tunny had been hurt, and lost his left leg. This meant he was coming home months earlier then expected. When she talked to him on the phone he was crying, the only time she had seem him this upset was two years ago with Regan. Christina called everyone for a meeting. She had already told Regan and she was sitting next to Harmony.

"What happened? Is Tunny alright?" Johnny asked

"Well, Tunny is coming home early" Christina explained

"Why?" asked Heather

"There was a little complication, Tunny, h-he lost his leg"

"WHAT?" everyone said

"Tunny is really scared. When he comes home, he's, it will be a month since he lost the leg. He wont start walking for a while. Don't stare, Tunny will hate that. It's going to be hard. So please everyone pitch in. Don't over help, but don't under help, but also don't ask if he wants help. But ask if he wants help"

"Mom, you're rambling"

"I'm sorry" she said starting to cry Whatsername got up and comforted her friend. Harmony put her arm around Regan. Everyone sat there in silence

"At least he's coming home. It could have been worse" Will said

"That's true" said Jimmy

"I know, I'm thankful he's coming home. We can live with this, I can help Tunny live with this." Christina said

* * *

><p>Nathan and Harmony spoke, well more like yelled to each other.<p>

"HOW COULD YOU? HARMONY WE SPOKE ABOUT THIS." Nathan yelled

"NOT REALLY, WELL WE SORT OF DID. NATHAN, WOULD YOU LISTEN" she yelled back

"LISTEN TO WHAT?"

"I blacked out. I was just going to have a bath that's it I swear"

"I don't believe you. You're dad said he found you in your bra and underwear. So what? You were bathing in your under pants?"

"YOU GOT ME. I TRIED TO DROWN MYSLEF, BUT I WAS SAVED"

'BUT WHAT IF IT WAS TOO LATE?" Nathan asked "You're dad would have been back on drugs that night. He could have been back on drugs after he found you. Do you remember what it was like when he found out you were pregnant? HE FUCKING FLIPPED YOU STUPID BITCH"

"ME A STUPID BITCH. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. NATHAN, IT WAS YOU AND I THEN YOU STARTED TOO DISTANT YOURSELF AND I WAS FEELING LONLEY. NO ONE WAS AROUND. I got scared, Nathan my life isn't easy and I just want to be done with it. So whether that's hurting the ones I love, then that's what I have to do." She finished sobbing

* * *

><p>Andrew walked in to find a note from Theo. It said <em>The Saint threatened my life, career and baby maker. Balls to the wall Andrew, but I'm out of here sorry. Theo<em>. Andrew ripped up the note and sat on the couch shaking. He could do this, he was capable of quitting on his own, and when he was sober for maybe a month he would find Regan. Who was he kidding, this wasn't going to be easy.

* * *

><p>Christina and Regan met Tunny. Regan started crying when she saw her dad. Tunny hadn't stopped crying since he got off the phone with Christina. Christina walked up to Tunny and kissed him. She wiped tears from his eyes.<p>

"It hurts so much" said Tunny crying

"I'm sure it does baby" she said

"Does it look bad?" he asked

"No baby" she said Regan didn't know what to do. She looked at her father's leg or what was left of it.

* * *

><p>Heather and Peyton were making cookies for Tunny. Will and Johnny took Julia out for a walk.<p>

"Mom, I don't understand?" asked Peyton

"What baby?" Heather asked

"Why does dad and Uncle Johnny think Julia's a dog?" she asked with a laugh

"I'm not sure" said Heather who wondered the same thing

"What if I stare at Uncle Tunny's leg?"

"It's going to be hard baby"

"And Regan, must be scared, Aunt Christina. They've been through so much mom and look what happens?"

"Peyton, I know this is hard. Look, when you see your Uncle Tunny tell him you love him very much. As much as it pains you just don't look alright baby girl?"

"I know, it jut doesn't seem far that's all" Peyton said

* * *

><p>"It's going to be weird seeing Tunny" said Will<p>

"What do we say?" asked Johnny

"Glad to have you home. Sorry about that leg."

"We've missed you" Johnny added

"Things are going to be different" Will said

* * *

><p>Harmony stormed into her house and slammed her bedroom door. Jimmy looked up and whatsername walked into her room<p>

"Harmony, what happened?" she asked

"Nathan and I split up. We got in an argument over what happened"

"You know you're dad's a mess over that. He's so stunned I think the only thing I've seen him do is go to the bathroom"

"I'm a mess too Aunt Rebecca. I'm more of a mess then I show. Nathan and I were the only things that I believed in. But when he started to disappear so did I"

"Well, you started disappearing the day your father brought you home from the hospital"

"What two or sixteen years ago?" Harmony asked

"If I'm being honest, sixteen. Harmony you're dad loves you with all his heart and if you did something to hurt yourself, the amount of hurt that would take over him would be to much for him to handle"

"Then what?" Harmony asked

"He would turn back into the Saint he once was. The last time I have felt that horrified is when I got that phone call from the hospital about Mac and Dean. The pain that struck me when the doctor said Dean didn't make it was unbearable"

"The amount of pain I feel is unbearable. It's like I can't breathe sometimes. I get numb all over and angry, I want to scream and, and gab something in me"

"Because of me?" asked Jimmy who was standing at the door

"And my life, my mother." Harmony said Whatsername backed away and out the door. "I still can't help but think that her death was my fault"

"Harmony" Jimmy said tears coming down on his face "I can't believe I've been so blind. So stupid, It never crossed my mind, that you would feel this way. You should have told me. I want you to know that what happened when you were a baby, and two years ago has nothing to do with you"

"WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IT IS?" she yelled

"I DON'T KNOW" Jimmy yelled back

* * *

><p>Tunny rolled his way around his house. He went into Regan's room<p>

"Baby?" he asked

"What?" she said

"You were so happy to see me when I came home in December. What happened?"

"Nothing"

"You've been avoiding me like the plague"

"You're not my dad. I mean you are, but you're not. Because my dad wouldn't have gone off to the war"

"Is it just the war?"

"NO. Dad, I needed you when it really mattered"

"You were hiding it. I didn't know, but when I found out I freaked out"

"Not two years ago, THIS YEAR, WHEN ANDREW, ANDREW RAPED ME. Dad, the one person I wanted to see, the one person I wanted to hold me and tell me everything would be alright wasn't there for me. I needed my dad, not Uncle Jimmy, not Uncle Johnny, you. BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR ME, I WAS SCARED AND CONFUSED, AND WHERE WERE YOU? FIGHTING, FIGHTING SOMEONE ELSE'S WAR WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER WAS AT HOME FIGHTING HER OWN. I went to help him, but he just held me down and then made me leave without pants. I was left on the streets sobbing wishing you were there. Wishing that when I got home you would take me in your arms and hold me." Regan was sobbing and Tunny had tears. He was speechless, everything she said was true. Tunny grabbed Regan's hand and sat her on the bed. Tunny then used all his strength and got himself on her bed. He pulled her close and held her, stroking her hair and letting her cry.

"Baby" Tunny said

"No, just don't say anything. Just for once can you hold me and not say anything?" she asked

"Yeah" he said

* * *

><p>Jimmy grabbed Harmony and pulled her close to him. He held her there<p>

"Do you hear that? My beating heart belongs to you. My heart belongs to you, if your heart stops beating my heart will still belong to you. I will still belong to you, and you will still belong to me. With every breath that I am worth, I'm sending all my love to you. So if you dear to second guess you can rest assured that all my loves for you." Jimmy said

"I'm so sorry dad. I'm so sorry. I need help, I need help and I want help. Can you help me?" she looked up at him Jimmy kissed her on the forehead and held her face in his hand

"Anything for my bay girl" Jimmy said

* * *

><p>"THERES NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT" yelled Nathan without thinking Peyton reached up and slapped her brother "OW WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU LITTLE TWAT"<p>

"NATHAN NEIL ESPER. WE DON'T USE THAT LANGUAE IN THIS HOUSE" yelled Heather

"She hit me" he said Will went and hugged his daughter. Peyton got out if his hug and went to her room. She grabbed a knife and slit it over her first scar and walked back out

"YOU HAPPY" she said everyone stared at her

"PEYTON AMEILA ESPER" Will said pressing his hand to her arm.

"WHY IS SHE ALWAYS LIKE THIS? BRING IT BACK TO YOU. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU PEYTON" Nathan screamed

"STOP. Will fix her arm. Nathan sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up and straighten your ass out." Heather yelled

* * *

><p>Andrew wandered down the streets, lost and confused but sober. He walked to Regan's house and saw Johnny leaving his house<p>

"Hey, I thought Jimmy told you to stay away from Regan" Johnny said walking up to Andrew

"Look, I'm two weeks sober I swear. Please Jesus, I would never do a thing like that again" Andrew said

"Her fathers home" said Johnny

"I hear he's a crippled" Johnny punched him in the face

"Don't you dare call him a crippled. Tunny lost his leg, and he is a hero" Johnny defended

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Look I want to make amends with her"

"Andrew, that's not going to happen. As long as Tunny's around and we're around. I'm sorry but you fucked this one literally an figuratively"


	10. Goodbye love

**This is the finale chapter. I hope you liked this one as much as you like the other story. This is also my longest chapter out of this story and Everything will be alright! I love you all**

Two months passed and Nathan and Harmony still hadn't spoken. Nathan and Peyton weren't speaking either. After the talk with Johnny, Andrew has been working up the courage to knock on Regan's door. Mac finished the video himself after everyone's little spat. But before Mac finished it completely he added one more thing.

"And that was that, or so it seems. Is this the end or the beginning? All I know is I would have sold my soul instead of having it end this way. We're almost out of high school, and the perfect couple wont talk to each other over a suicide attempt. Peyton started cutting over her old scars, Regan fell off the wagon and so did her ex-boyfriend Andrew. Then Andrew did the unspeakable. Uncle Tunny Regan's father went back to war and lost his leg. Regan is sober and she and her dad are fixing there relationship. Who would have thought that us, the Gallagher's are the only ones who are actually okay considering we lost Dean. Uncle Jimmy watches Harmony like a hock. He got her help, and she's doing a lot better. Heather and Will rarely speak, don't get me wrong they talk but it's more like yelling. I feel bad for Julia, she's only a baby and her world, her safe place is falling apart and she doesn't eve know it. I hand this in tomorrow. But for you guys watching, it will be a mystery. Maybe I'll post something to let you know how everything turns out. But for now, this is my rage, this is my love, this my town, this is my city, this is my life"

* * *

><p>"Dad, I know you can do it" said Regan as Tunny looked at his leg.<p>

"It's going to be hard" he said

"I know baby, but try" encouraged Christina Tunny stood up and held on to the railings and took a step with his real leg

"Come on dad you can do it" said Regan and Tunny took a step with his new fake leg then he took another with his real and another with his fake. Christina started crying with joy

"I'm walking" Tunny said amazed

"Baby, I'm so proud of you" Christina said running up and kissing him

"I can walk" he said shedding a tear

"I told you, you could" Regan said

* * *

><p>The next day at school was awkward. They all sat at the same table though no one really know why.<p>

"So my dad got his new leg" said Regan trying to strike up a conversation

"That's amazing" said Peyton

"That's so cool" said Mac

"Yeah, my mom gets him up and walking. I think our dads are going to go walking"

"Cool" said Nathan Peyton and Harmony both got up from the table and left

"Can you believe we graduate soon?" said Mac

"I know" said Nathan

"Nate, talk to us" said Regan

"About what?"

"It's used to be the four of us. You first then Mac and Dean then me. Jimmy a year later with Harmony and year after her Peyton. Then it was the six of us."

"But we're the originals Nathan, you can talk to us." Added Mac

"Did you hand in the video?" Nathan asked

"Yes I did" Mac said

"Good" and Nathan stood up and left

"And then there were two" said Regan

"God, how did things get so fucked. Last year was fine. Then this year, it's just a bad nightmare, but I can't wake up" Regan went to comfort her friend "Regan, I am so sorry, for everything. I hurt you without laying a hand on you, and I can never forgive myself"

"Mac, this has nothing to do with you. It was me and Andrew, with a hint of Theo. But you did nothing wrong. You are doing your best to hold us all together. I'm sorry it's not working, I truly am. But you need to know that as much as you like to believe you're not superman"

"I know" he said

"So stop" she said

* * *

><p>"This isn't working Heather" said Will<p>

"I'm done with yelling" she said

"And I'm done" he said

"With?"

"With us Heather, with this lie we've been living. Look how the first two grew up? I have nightmares that something like that will happen with Julia. Where did we go wrong?"

"I ask myself that everyday. Maybe we should take a break"

"From what?" he asked

"From us" she said "Will, I know you've noticed that things have changed between us."

"Heather we can work this out. Please"

"If that's true then why have we've spent the past two months screaming at each other? Will stop pretending and wake up. I think we need to take a break."

"What are you saying?" he asked

"I'm saying I called Christina and I'm staying with them. Julia and I are staying with them"

"Heather don't" Will begged but Heather went and grabbed her suitcase and Julia

"I'm sorry" she said

"No, don't go. Don't take Julia" Will pleaded

"I'm sorry" and she left

* * *

><p>When Peyton and Nathan got home Will broke the news to them. Regan was walking him when she stopped and saw Andrew standing at her door step and her dad talking to him<p>

"You know I am this close to shooting you" Tunny said

"I know sir. I ruined everything the day I raped Regan"

"No, you ruined everything the day you came knocking on my door asking her for help. Now go before I go to get my gun" Tunny stated closing the door but Andrew stopped it

"Please. I'm almost three months sober without anyone's help. I knew no one would let me talk to her unless I was clean. I've already talked to Jimmy and Jesus"

"Are you sure you're not on drugs?" Tunny asked

"No not that Jesus, your Jesus, Johnny. They both said to stay away from her"

"Yeah, they were right. Now what makes you think I'd let you walk back into my daughters life?"

"I love her Mr. Clarke. I am in love with Regan"

"I don't think you rape the ones you love Andrew. If you loved her you would have stuck with her instead of letting her fall of and rot."

"Oh what like you were there to help her?" Andrew wished he didn't just say that

"Boy, you watch your mouth you hear" Tunny said taking a step towards him and Andrew taking a step back

"Look, Tunny, sir, Mr. Clarke. I love your daughter and I'm sober. I promise if you let me back, I will do all in my power to prove to you and Christina that I'm changed"

"Uh huh" Tunny said taking a step back and slamming the door in his face

Regan walked up to Andrew as he walked past the tree she was hiding behind

"Andrew"

"You heard?" he asked

"Yeah. My dad's right Andrew. I don't even know why I'm wasting my time with you it's been months" Regan started walking past him

"Regan, please. You heard what I said and I meant every word"

"I trusted you Andrew. You do this thing to me, this horrible thing to me. You're lucky I didn't wined up pregnant. You must be stupid to think that I would come back to you. I don't care if you love me. If you truly loved me, then like my dad said you would have stuck by me. Now kindly let go of me" Andrew let go of her hand

"You heard me, I'm sober, all by myself" he said

"Well, you want a metal? I don't give a fucking shit about you anymore. Andrew, take your apology and just go"

"Please"

"No, I'm through being a fuck up. I need to start letting go of things starting with you" and she walked away

* * *

><p>"This is all your fault" Nathan said blaming Peyton<p>

"You're right" she said calmly

"Excuse me?" he asked confused

"My fault, your fault, everyone's at fault here"

"Bite me"

"Oh very mature Nathan. Look, They're taking a break, not a divorce"

"That's where it leads genius" he said

"Can we stop this? Stop fighting, why were we even fighting?"

"You slapped me, then I insulted you, then you started cutting again"

"Okay, well I haven't in two weeks. I'm sorry I hit you. But what you and harmony had was something special"

"She tried to kill herself" Nathan said

"And you thought about it" Peyton said

"But I never attempted. She attempted Peyton. Then she said she didn't care if she hurt the ones she loved"

"And you walked away"

* * *

><p>Tunny sat on the couch with Julia and Regan sat beside him. He loved that baby, and he loved his baby. He rocked Julia to sleep.<p>

"I remember when you were this small. Well, I know she's two but still. You were so cute"

"Are you wondering what happened?" Regan asked with a laugh

"No" Tunny said with a laugh and Julia yawned and snuggled into Tunny

"Dad, what do we tell her when she's older? I mean, she is so innocent, and then there's the rest of us"

"I honestly don't know what to do"

"What if Uncle Will and Aunt Heather don't get back together? What if the break is longer?" just then Heather walked in

"Oh good you got her to sleep. I can take her" Heather said

"No, that's alright. I don't want to disturb her. I'll put her down" said Tunny

"Do you think I made a mistake?"

"I do" said Regan

"Me too" said Christina coming in Heather nodded

"If you excuse me, I have to go home to my husband. You can keep my child for tonight" and Heather left. Christina looked at Tunny

"Wanna make another one?" she asked

"MOM!" Regan said shocked

"Sure" Tunny said

"Ew" said Regan

* * *

><p>Johnny walked in his bedroom with Whatsername<p>

"I love you" he said

"I love you too" she said

* * *

><p>Jimmy walked into Harmony's room<p>

"May I help you?" she asked

"No, but he can" Jimmy said and Nathan walked in

"Nate" Harmony said and Jimmy walked away

"Harmony. I was wrong and I come here not to yell, not to fight, but to apologize. You were the only person who got me and then I decided to get distant. I never wanted us to split. All I ever wanted was us. May I hold you're hand?" he asked with a half smile

"Yes you may" Harmony said with a half smile. Nathan then kissed her

"I love you Harmony and I never want to hurt you"

"I love you too Nathan" Nathan hugged her

"Please don't do that again. You scared me"

"I'm getting better, I'm getting help. Maybe you should talk to someone"

"I think you're right" he said

* * *

><p>Heather walked in walked right up t Will and kissed him.<p>

"Heather?" Will asked confused

"Baby, we can work things out. I'm sorry for everything." She kissed him

"The kids made up" said Will

"What good role models for us then" she said sitting on the kitchen counter and pulling him closer. Will kissed Heather

"Wait, wait ,wait didn't you leave with our daughter?" he asked

"Peyton's home"

"Not that one the other"

"I left her at the Clarkes" Heather said kissing Will

* * *

><p>June hit and it was time for Regan, Nathan and Mac to graduate. Things were finally getting into place. Everyone was back together and things were looking up. Regan never saw Andrew since she blew him off and she was fine with it. the day arrived and everyone gathered around their kids.<p>

"My baby girl is all grown up" Christina said kissing Regan

"Mom it's okay" said Regan

"Christina, she's taking a year off to be home with us" Tunny said hugging Regan

"My baby is leaving me" said Heather holding Will

"I'm going to miss you" said Peyton

"I'm going to miss you too weasel" Nathan said hugging Peyton

"Heather, are you going to get like this with every child?" Will asked

"Yes I am" she said

"Watch out" Will said to Julia kissing her

Whatsername was crying and hugging Mac. This was really hard for her because she should have had two babies leaving

"Mom, it will be okay" said Mac

"I love you so much" she said

"I'm so proud of you Mac. For everything" Johnny said hugging his son

"Sure wont be the same at home anymore" Harmony said

"Believe it or not, I'm going to miss you" said Mac

* * *

><p>Everyone took their seats.<p>

"Unfortunately, our regular speaker had fallen ill. So I found a copy of an old list and please bare with me." Said The new teacher and he started calling the names "Gerard Canonico" and he got up " Regan Clarke" everyone cheered and she got up to. A few more names "Nathan Esper" there was a big cheer and he got up. Then he said something that made the whole room go quite. No one double checked the list he had printed off. "Dean Gallagher". No one moved. Johnny grabbed Whatsername's hand and so did Christina. Finally a teacher came over.

"Um…sorry for that mix up. Really sorry" she said looking over at Mac. "Mac Gallagher" she said and he came up. The teacher hugged him and took over.

* * *

><p>At the reception the teacher came over and apologized to Johnny and Whatsername. Then everyone went up to their graduates. That night everyone went to Gallaghers for a celebration. The kids left and went to the cemetery with a few beers.<p>

"Hey man, we did it. Nate, Regan and I we graduated" Mac said

"And apparently so did you" said Regan and everyone laughed

"See, someone printed off the list from I guess two years ago. You were on it" Nathan said

"I wish you were right there beside me. I'm so sorry about that night" Mac said

"We all miss you" said Harmony

"We love you" Peyton added

"Hey guys could I have a minute?" Mac asked. Everyone agreed and they went to Marni's grave "you did it didn't you? You brought everyone together. You were always my hero buddy. I miss you, but we did it didn't we. We made it through high school, now all I have to do is make it through the rest of my life. But with you on my wrist and in my heart I know I can do it, we can do it. I love you buddy." Mac joined his friends and they headed home. The sat around drinking beer and celebrate not only to night but what they've all had to deal with.


End file.
